Yesterday was one of the pretty bad days. So I decided it would not be fun to write. Nothing in particular happened, it was just overwhelming with feeling down. I do not like those days, but really think it is all part of this journey. I talked to a Park Nicollet chaplain a couple of days ago and she suggested that emotions can be very roller coaster during this time. One day you accept what you are going through…the next you think about if things do not go as expected your life can be very different than what you were hoping. I think the big step is to understand that emotions can be so wacky during this time and do what is needed to help address the day to get through it successfully. I did reach out to my friend, Kathy, and she shared some very encouraging words which really helped. I hate to feel like I imposing on people, and I try to be positive through all of this so I somewhat feel like a failure if I have one of those bad days. Thankfully with a good night’s sleep things are looking better today.
Radiation #5 was today, and the first week is done!! Funny when the checkin person at radiation, Travis, already knows you name as you walk in. When I left, I told Travis see you Monday…and he said it’s a date!! LOL. I then went to the Mayo apparel store and bought a purple Mayo sweatshirt. I knew I wanted to get a sweatshirt with the Mayo logo and the color was perfect. I also got a little ice pack to put on the tumor area when it decides to swell up.
As every knows, I am a worrier…I would say a professional worrier. With having to be back here in December of the surgery, I knew we needed to do something with Max, our Shih Tzu. When we are worrying about something in particular, we often say “it keeps me awake at night”. Not that we really don’t sleep but more it is on our mind at all times. I was even having dreams about what we would do. I hate to ask for a favor but knew I would have to figure something out. When we had a Mayo appointment a couple of weeks ago, granddaughter Emily came over and stayed with Max, He can be fine during the day for almost 8 hours, but he has not been left along at night. Emily stayed the night and when Mayo requested that we stay another day for another CT and MRI, she stayed a 2nd night. I felt bad asking if she would do this when it is over Christmas, so I texted her mom, Jenny, to see what she thought. Jenny felt that Emily would be willing to do it and when I was in the room getting zapped Emily texted me and said she would be more than happy to stay at our house the whole time. And if there is an evening that she has a conflict, with Christmas stuff going on her mom and wife, Jen would fill in!! You cannot imagine what a relief that was for me to know that we are all covered for that December timeframe!!! Really it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It is well over a month away, so I think I had time…but I just wanted all plans in place.
The house we are renting is in a nice little neighborhood and fun to see some Fall colors still hanging on, but mostly the yards are orange or yellow covered in leaves, rather than green grass. Today a couple of the neighbors mowed their lawns probably for the last time this season and it nice to smell the cut grass in the air.
May not write over the weekend, but will write what it is like being back to the radiation next week.
Take care!
Dandy Ventures 