Well, it is back into the walker again…one step forward, five steps backwards. It is nice, strange and frustrating being back in the walker. Nice because I can do things myself, like getting up to go to the bathroom. I don’t have to say, David I need to go to the bathroom as he accompanies me with the wheel chair. Strange because I feel like I am learning to walk again. It probably doesn’t help that the boot is maybe an inch or two higher than my regular foot so I am not only trying to walk but walk in a lopsided manner. Guess Amazon sells something I could put on my good foot to make the walking even but I think it is better just to figure this out.
And frustrating!!! It was 6 weeks ago when I had finally progressed to a cane. And I was doing pretty good, although still cautious with my knee until I did the dumb thing on the front porch and broke those bones. The foot doctor has given me permission to put weight on the foot with the boot still on so that is why the progression to the walker. I just think how much I messed the summer up by doing that dumb thing!! I know…one day at a time…but I can still be frustrated.
I always am feeling sad, or maybe I guess sorry for myself. It is like my lip is out…pouting…and as my dad always said if you keep that lip out a bird will poop on it. :-). But I feel sad that I cannot be outside walking quite yet. Yesterday and today were so beautiful perfect for a walk around Hidden Lake…although if I could be out walking we would probably be up at Big Lake and maybe even golfing a hole or two. Oh well, I deal with what I have I guess, but am I still allowed just a “titch” of self pity?
Yesterday I came into the inside porch and opened the windows and read. That gave me a sense of being outside. I would sit on the deck but that is full sun in the morning so I wait until afternoon to do that. They were mowing this morning too so sitting on the deck would not be the most relaxing. I miss being outside, but then with all this rain, maybe the mosquitoes are horrendous!!
Had the Rituxan treatments last Thursday and I will have to say the side effects are not really much at all!! I was very tired on Friday…a little sore…and still just a little tired on Sunday. Both are easy to handle with naps and some Tylenol.
We have our neighborhood HOA meeting this afternoon. But first I need to take a shower and let me tell you, without too many details, that is quite a production!! Not quite as bad as after surgery, but still a challenge!! Thanks so much to neighbor Char for the loan of the sit down shower chair which is a life saver. It will be great to see people from around the neighborhood. When I would walk Max I would see lots of people and sometimes stop to chat. Since I have not walked since December I have missed that little connection. I decided that I am going to try using the walker to get there — it is at someone’s house about 5 down — and David can follow me with the chair both in case I get tired and then I will have some place to sit. My leg does get tired and my knee will feel like pins and needles…kind of like when your foot falls asleep so I am just getting used to it all over again.
I do miss my Max. One of my good friends that I worked with at Beckman just lost his Shih tzu this week, so the sadness came back knowing what he is going through. This will sound silly, but I did get a small stuffed animal that I have with me when I read and when I sleep at night. Now don’t call anyone with a 5-1-5-0 on me…LOL…but “puppy” as I call him can be quite comforting at times.
This week is PT tomorrow and treatment on Thursday. We may try to go up to Big Lake (David needs to mow the lawn) and stay a night or two. I know I can conquer the stairs because I did go downstairs into the theatre room both yesterday and Saturday. That was nice to get down there again!
Well, all will be good as time goes on. My strength comes from so many of you and your continued prayers.
Take care!
Dandy Ventures 